There’s a saying that goes: “If it’s important to you, you’ll find a way. If not, you’ll find an excuse.”
Boom. Love it.
If a project is neither necessary or interesting for you anymore, there’s no shame in abandoning it. But otherwise, there are only excuses for giving up on working towards our deepest dreams and desires.
And I wage that there are only stupid excuses for giving up the project of building one’s confidence.
With that, I hereby line up five of these excuses and debunk them one at a time:
#1. “I’ve tried everything”
First of all, no you haven’t. Because if you did, you’d have succeeded.
Second, let’s even say for a moment, hypothetically, that you’d literally tried everything and still not succeeded. Ask yourself what’s most likely: That A) somehow it just doesn’t work for you out of everyone who’s tried everything, ever, or that B) there’s one or more steps which you simply haven’t done properly.
#2. “It’s too hard”
Too hard for what?? Nothing is “too hard” if you do it in achievable magnitudes. In other words: Break it down into smaller bits and don’t do more than possible at a time.
Even if you’re about to take on a major endeavour, you gotta start wherever you’re at. And all the better if you start slowly and accelerate gradually. If you’re gonna run a marathon, you’re not gonna start off by doing all 26 miles at once. But if you can run 20 minutes three times a week, you’re off to a decent start.
Wanna start your own business? Read the three best books in your field and you’ll be way ahead of the vast majority.
#3. “I’ve given up on everything else, once more won’t make any difference”
This isn’t something we say out loud, but a piece of inner dialogue. It’s habitual thinking out of habitual action — or lack thereof. And it’s a painfully obvious result of low confidence and self-esteem.
If it’s important to you, it does so make a difference that you don’t give up. And that, plus the fact that you’ve given up on “everything else”, even if it’s an exaggeration, is all the more reason for you to not give up on this one.
#4. “I haven’t got the time”
Just like the “I’ve tried everything” mindset, this mindset is one of limited resourcefulness. It’s probably the most common and reasonable one on here. — But it’s still no more than an excuse.
You see… WE ALL HAVE 24 HOURS EVERY DAY.
There is no such thing as “I haven’t got the time”. There is only wrong prioritizing and lack of energy, and these are amenable obstacles.
Getting a coach is a hugely effective way of solving this.
#5. “It feels safer and more comfortable doing what I’m used to”
Like #3, this is one of those unsaid excuses we only tell ourselves, and that is just eerily close to its origin in fear, insecurity, and low confidence/self-esteem.
The biggest risk is to bet your entire life on fear-based habits and instant gratification.
We’re here once. No reasonable basis for thinking otherwise. So let’s establish all the confidence we need. Let’s not waste our only chance by letting fear and insecurity get in the way.