Being made fun of is probably one of the most common fears among people with confidence and self-esteem issues. And for many a good reason.
With the possible exception of Larry David and other deliberately self-deprecating comedians, nobody likes being made fun of. When somebody makes fun of us, a part of us is involuntarily exposed beyond our control. We don’t get to decide when it happens, or in front of whom, or the specific subject matter.
If we feel particularly vulnerable towards ridicule, we might feel like preventing being made fun of by only surrounding ourselves with asskissers and yes-men. But really, show me just one person who’s effectively made that idea work.
Or, we might feel like not surrounding ourselves with people at all — yet another common go-to idea amongst non-fidents. And can you guess if that’s really a good, sensible idea?
Yeah, I thought so.
So, what do we do about being made fun of, then?
Well, as with a great many other things in life, there are options. And, as with life in general, there’s no manual. So, in practice, it really comes down to personal preference and simply winging it.
However, if we wish to take the path of confidence, there are certain things to consider.
You see, confidence is all about latitude and inclusiveness. The more confident we are, the bigger we consider ourselves. And the bigger we consider ourselves, the more we allow ourselves to contain. Even being made fun of.
This doesn’t mean we should lie down and take one insult after another like a little, submissive bitch. It means we should consider the reasons we might FEEL like a little, submissive bitch. Is it someone else “making” us feel this way? Or would we feel this way at all if we weren’t disposed towards it in the first place?
This is a provocative question, I know. And as such, it’s all the more important to consider.
And here’s something else…
Have you ever noticed how no matter what happens in any given week, satirical shows will necessarily find a way to poke fun at it?
In fact, have you ever noticed how you’re not the only person being made fun of? And, indeed, have you ever noticed how anyone can, in principle, make fun of anything, at any time?
Yes, they can. And this just so happens to include you. And me. In fact, everyone.
This is one of those inescapable conditions of being human. There’s no changing it.
And this is why, when we try to actively escape or refrain from being made fun of, it only makes us look even more pathetic and hilarious. Because, considering how far we’ve come as a civilization, certain human traits ARE still pretty inelegant.
So accept it. Forget about never being made fun of. Instead, learn to embrace and love the idea that anyone can, in principle, make fun of anything, at any time — including you. Anything else is just fear-based insecurity.
Which everybody has. It’s just that confident people act in spite of it. And Hell, confident people even make fun of themselves.
1) Turn off your phone, and eliminate all other possible distractions.
2) Close your eyes.
3) Now imagine that you’re 200 feet tall and made out of diamonds.
4) Get heavy on the details. Imagine your surroundings. Where are you at? Is it a city? If yes, which one, and which part of it?
Try walking around. What do people, buildings, animals, cars, streets, etc. look like from up there?
Engage your other senses as well. Are you hearing the wind more clearly up there? Maybe tasting the cool air?
Are you walking slowly and confidently? Do movements seem slower? Maybe less risky than usual?
Try doing this for 5 minutes. Notice how you feel afterwards.
It’s when we think of ourselves as big that we grow a little.