Believe in yourself.
Ah, how quaintly those three words ring throughout our collective childhood memories.
And for many a good reason. They’re age-old wisdom, really. You know how some people say that every one of those cliché’d sayings always have their legitimacy back somewhere?
Yeah, this one’s a prime example.
Believe in yourself is something we’re usually told as we grow up. It’s the predictable point of every other fable, fairytale, kid’s show, cartoon, or other type of narrative cultural product aimed at children.
And indeed, why wouldn’t it be? ALL confident people believe in themselves. The one common denominator for everyone who ever stood up for themselves and made a deliberate effort to change the world for the better, is confidence. And that means believing in yourself.
Oh, and claiming that believe in yourself is somewhat of a mantra within the world of self-help and self-development would be an understatement on par with “Batman Forever isn’t exactly the greatest movie ever” or “Donald Trump can seem a little self-centered sometimes”.
So then why is this one confidence coach all of a sudden coming along and telling you to NOT believe in yourself??
Well, I’m not.
Like I’ve written about before, simply loving yourself isn’t gonna cut it in and by itself if you want to achieve lasting confidence. Well, this is kinda the same thing.
And indeed, the two are highly alike. One couldn’t very well love oneself without believing in oneself, or vice versa.
Loving yourself = self-esteem.
Believing in yourself = self-confidence.
“Okay, wait a minute, WAIT A MINUTE! So you’re saying that there’s a “but“… If I wanna build my confidence… by being confident?!?”
My point is, that simply believing in yourself is not enough to build lasting confidence if what you’re doing doesn’t truly support you and matter to you.
I’ll even say it again for good measure:
To believe in yourself is not enough to build lasting confidence if none of what you’re doing is truly supportive or truly relevant to you.
For example, you might believe in yourself when it comes to playing video games. And your confidence in your video game skills might be ever so justified. But if you sit around playing video games literally all day, chances are you’re not gonna have much going for you out in the real world.
(Unless, of course, you’re one of those professional gamers who go to tournaments and win huge cash prices and whatnot.)
You might believe in yourself in a whole lot of areas and still end up making a complete crash-landing of your entire life — or even worse.
Think I’m kidding? I know this, because I did this. And lot of people I know did this, too.
… In fact, pretty much every successful person ever did this.
Yes, you gotta believe in yourself if you want confidence. It goes without saying. But the crucial “but” here is that your confidence won’t last unless you…
- Do what matters to you
- Know what you’re doing
- Know why you’re doing it
- Do the right things at the right time
- Stay focused
- Keep at it and never give up
Do all of the above check out with you? Good. In that case, you can hardly believe in yourself too much.