The law of attraction: Thoughts upon a kind of personal case study

You’ve probably heard about the ‘law of attraction’, and how we can use visualization as an aid to attain our goals and dreams in life, right?

I think the whole phenomenon of ‘law of attraction’ has gotten a bad rep since “The Secret” became household.

It seems like basically a lot of bored, middle-aged housewives saw it and then just started imagining themselves having stacks of money without doing any actual work towards earning any.

Only, of course, to eventually lose their patience and blame it on the movie and the whole idea of visualization. Like any clueless outsider when initially presented with something which they don’t yet know how to use.


Well… Here’s where it gets interesting.

I’ve been wanting to move to Málaga for about a year. So last spring, I got this neat little picture as a background on my laptop and iPad:

The law of attraction: This picture helped me realize and utilize its power.

It is, of course, a view of the beautiful city that is Málaga.

Now, compare with this picture which I’ve snapped myself recently…:

Having visions for yourself is a funny ol’ thing, isn’t it?

When a commercialized product like “The Secret” hits the stores along with its big, salesy promise, it will, necessarily get picked up by a majority of people who will CONSUME it but not USE it.

Because the sad fact is, that’s what the majority of people do. They read a book, go to a seminar, buy an online course, consume it, and then do nothing.

Even the good people behind those books, seminars and courses recognize this. (But of course, it’s not exactly something that sounds good in their sales pitches.)

And another problem is, of course, that some people kinda “try it” for a few weeks or months and then get discouraged and bitter when nothing happens. So they blame the people who try to teach HOW the law of attraction works.

This is why having a clear vision and taking consistent, relevant action is the key to achieving anything. (Which, in turn, is why coaching is so powerful.)

Now, I’m not saying that I — or anyone else for that matter — can logically explain how having a background picture of Málaga has somehow helped me get here.

It probably has to do with keeping focus. Eyes on the prize and all. And it probably has to do with something in my subconsciousness. (Hell, what doesn’t?)

But really, I don’t care. Because the important thing is that this whole law of attraction thing actually works. Whether we like it or not.

It’s in effect whether you let it, or whether you don’t.

Whatever you want, get specific on it. The clearer you can picture it, the better.

And start taking action towards it NOW.

There’s always something you can do. And whatever you do, the closer you’ll get.

Or, you know, you could just lie around and picture it, and se what good that’ll do you.

Your call.

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Personal growth and confidence: Why chaos is a necessary condition

personal growth and confidence necessarily involves a certain element of chaos.Anyone who’ve worked with personal growth and confidence will recognize how we, in principle, let chaos itself into our lives by doing so.

For us humans, the world is, essentially, unpredictable.

There’s always the risk of getting run over, getting mugged, getting struck by disease, cardiac arrest, lightning, natural disasters, and whatnot.

(Yaaaay! This is FUN already!)

Now, this doesn’t mean we should be scared of stuff happening to us all the time, — let alone scared of anything at all. People who are governed by fear don’t really go places in life, true or true?

But we need to be aware of one rule that all too few people seem to be keeping in mind…:

The more you work on your personal growth and confidence, the more chaotic and unpredictable your life will be.

Think about it.

Growth, as they say, happens outside our comfort zone. Hypothetically, if we only do the things we’re used to, if we metrically follow one routine with no variations, we don’t learn and grow. We stagnate.


Personal growth and confidence does come at a cost.
Which, admittedly, CAN have a certain charm to it.

But it’s when we push ourselves along that proverbial extra mile that we put that strain on ourselves which is crucial in growing and learning.

If you wanna be able to lift more weight, you gotta start by taking just one more rep when you’ve got the routine down, and gradually increase the load.

If you wanna earn more money, you gotta spend time — and possibly money — to educate yourself so you’ll qualify for bigger positions or higher-profile clients.

If you wanna learn a new language, you gotta put in the hours, possibly buy lessons or courses, and put yourself in situations where you get to use the language.

And it’s when we go those new places that things become chaotic and unpredictable. It’s when you transcend your routines that you’re essentially going into as of yet unknown territory.

Not because chaos is a necessary condition in pumping another two pounds of iron. That in itself is pretty predictable.

But because personal growth and confidence tends to open new doors for us. In fact, that’s kinda the whole point, isn’t it??

I mean, why would anyone build confidence or learn any new skills if it wouldn’t increase certain opportunities for them, right?

If you do what you’ve always done, you’ll keep getting the results you’ve always gotten. But when you try something new, you’ll start getting new results.

Now, of course there’s a certain inertia in personal growth and confidence building. Every beginning is hard, as they say. And this is exactly because of the friction that arises when moving into said unknown territory.


Personal growth and confidence awaits you where dragons lie.
Huh huh huh… “Friction.”

The good thing is, for the most part by far, this friction is all in our minds. No matter what you set out to do, in all likelihood you’re gonna be more than fine.

In fact, if you really, truly want it, you’re probably only gonna get stronger and more confident.


– Think of one area of your life in which you need go an extra step to get to the next level in the nearest future. This might be your career; your personal life; your social life; your relationship, etc..
– When you’ve found that one area, write down at least three specific actions you need to take.
– This week, set aside one hour to do the most important of these actions.

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5 reasons your New Year’s resolutions don’t work — part 2

There are 5 reasons your New Year's resolutions don't work, and they might not be what you think.So, right before this New Year’s, I talked about why your New Year’s resolutions don’t work. Remember?

Well, how are they working out for you so far?

The reason I’m asking is not to make you feel guilty or anything, but because by now we’ve exceeded the ‘cut-off date’, as it were.

I’ve seen articles refer to Jan. 23rd as the day where most people will have decided that their New Year’s resolutions don’t work. Tony Robbins refers to Jan. 15th as the cut-off date. And in Britain, apparently, people already give up by Jan. 10th.

If I were to judge from how many people were suddenly at the local gym on the last day of 2017, and how that number has kinda settled down to not much more than the usual by now, then yes, this cut-off date is totally a thing.

Why do people do this?

Well, like we talked about last time, it might be because they’re taking on too much; because it’s not really that important to them; and/or because they lack clarity, accountability, and a certain ‘deadline’ for completion.

Now, I know this might scare away a lot of people. But it’s exactly when those things are in place that we reach our goals. And this is exactly why most people don’t reach their goals.

Think about it. How many people do you know that go about setting goals like this?

Exactly: It’s probably about the same percentage of people you know as the percentage of the entire population who are actually doing so.


Your New Year's resolutions don't work. And even less so if you're British, apparently.
Of course, in Britain, the numbers might be different.

This is the thing about us humans: Whether we like it or not, we tend to conform. We’re social animals; it’s in our genes to avoid social stigma. Sure, some of us like to stand out in certain respects, but like I always say, the average is average by necessity.

(Hell, it’s the law of averages that says so in the first place.)

So, we’ve all grown accustomed to the people around us making New Year’s resolutions only to give up on them sometime during January.

If a lot of people around you are making New Year’s resolutions, there’s probably something to it, yeah? So then, why wouldn’t we do the same thing?

And if they fail at keeping theirs, you wouldn’t look too bad if you failed at keeping yours, right?

Making New Year’s resolutions for the sake of making them probably isn’t a good way to make permanent changes to your life.


Your New Year's resolutions don't work. And even less so if you're British, apparently.
And also, why WOULD you?

Me, I’ve long stopped making ‘em. Hell, even MY New Year’s resolutions don’t work.

And probably for the above reason:

Don’t make New Year’s resolutions because everyone else are doing it.

Make goals in life. Goals that are more important to you than anything else.

Because if you treat something like that for long enough, it WILL grow and prosper. By the same necessity that dictates why the majority fails at having THEIR goals grow and prosper.

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What’s YOUR frustrated dream?

Tell me your frustrated dream, and I'll show you a way out of your problems.Behind every problem lies a frustrated dream”.

This fine little quote was coined by English philosopher and consultant Peter Lang. And the way I see it, it neatly sums up a huge part of what not only coaching, but also confidence is all about.

This way of looking at things, Lang calls “positive reframing”. And it simply means to focus on, well, the bright side of life.


If not a frustrated dream, Brian's life was, indeed, brimming with frustration.
(Incidentally, if you don’t know this reference, you HAVE no life.)

Now, I’m betting someone out there will try to think of exceptions to this theory. For example, you might call a broken foot a “problem”. And then what would be the frustrated dream accompanying it?

Well, like I’ve said before, behind everything we do, there’s a certain intention of feeling good. By attaining pleasure, and/or avoiding pain. And in the case of a broken foot, our intention is simply to be able to walk normally, and painlessly.

And of course, in this example, calling the intention a frustrated dream might be a stretch. But that’s not the point. The point is that we’re able to switch our focus from a perceived negative outcome or circumstance to its underlying constructive, positive wish or intention.

Now, on a scale from ‘confident’ to ‘non-fident’, can you guess where a mindset like this might be??

That’s right: The confident thing to do is focus on one’s desired outcome, or goals.


No frustrated dreams on this picture.
Sure, that and some cold ones.

Whatever we focus on tends to grown within our awareness, yeah? Pretty much the definition of focus, right there. So, if we focus on the roadblocks instead of the positive outcome ahead, our lives will become more roadblocks and less positive outcome. Pretty simple, right?

Well, however simple it is, we humans have a sorry tendency to focus on the downside of things. And it’s simply the way our brains are wired. But we have the power to circumvent that way of thinking to our advantage.

Yes: We obviously have to take care of our problems. If you’d kept walking on that aforementioned broken foot, boldly and defiantly ignoring the pain, things’d probably get pretty messy for you anytime soon.

But the point here is to make the outcomes our major focus, not what’s stopping us from attaining it. If we focus on the positive outcome instead of the roadblocks, our lives will become more positive outcome and less roadblocks.

So ask yourself…

What’s my frustrated dream??

Why is it frustrated? What might it take to unravel some of the frustration? And what is it that I really want?

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What’s my intention?

What's my intention? Go ahead and ask yourself that question. Be open to the answer.Yeah, ever stop and ask yourself that? Exactly what’s my intention here?

Because lemme tell ya, there was a time where asking myself that question could’ve saved me oceans of pain and struggling.

It’s no secret that my life used to be kind of a mess. I’ve spent years basically jerking around — on both major and minor scales — only to discover things that don’t exactly serve me well.

Not once did I dare to ask myself that question, What’s my intention with this?

And I use the word ‘dare’ deliberately. Because deep down, I knew there was this part of me that needed to hear an answer. Because basically I needed a purpose.

But that part of me was scared, man. Scared of hearing the truth, and scared of change.

So I did my best to treat that pesky question like a distraction, and drowned it in what later turned out to be the real distractions — galore.


What's my intention of distracting myself? Only to avoid the bitter taste of waking the Hell up.
Kinda like this, but including alcohol, women, and shame.

The question works on many levels:

Am I out to find flaws here, or am I rather seeking to understand?

Will doing this thing provide me with long-term value, or simply instant gratification?

Am I striving to be the best possible version of myself at all times, or am I settling for something around level ‘acceptable’?

If you keep asking about your deeper intention for every answer you get, they all point towards nothing less than your intention in life itself.

*** SPOILER ***

And waddya know: It’s all about feeling good.

That’s right: Whatever we do, we do it because there are benefits to it. Even if only perceived ones. And even if we undertake strenuous tasks. It’s all about feeling good at the end.

Or, in the case of yours truly anno 2009, feeling good right away.

What's my intention of partying? Well, granted, sometimes, it's simply to have fun.
… And I’m not gonna lie: Those few hours CAN be hella fun.

Because confidence and self-awareness tend to go hand in hand, I’ll safely go all-in and submit that there’s a tendency among people with higher levels of confidence to continually ask themselves what their intentions are in what they’re doing.

And I think it’s fair to say that it’s something we could all benefit from, and that we should all be doing.

Go ahead. Ask yourself, What’s my intention here? Where am I going with this?

While the answer, of course, is ultimately about feeling good, you’ll ideally get some more focus and direction in your life.

Let me know how it works out!

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5 reasons your New Year’s resolutions don’t work


There are 5 reasons your New Year's resolutions don't work, and they might not be what you think.There are 5 reasons your New Year’s resolutions don’t work, and…

Oh yeah, here’s the thing about New Year’s resolutions: They don’t work.

And really, it should come as no surprise.

Because… You’ve been there. Haven’t you?

Walked around in those last few days of the year and kinda made a mental status of your life?

Thought about some things that might be nice to do — or that you even felt that you should do?

Stood there on a new Jan. 2nd (after your latest hangover had faded, of course), and found yourself with this new promise to yourself that you kinda had to deal with?

… Only to find that, after a certain period of time, this new thing that you had going on didn’t really work out. For whatever reason.

Yeah, I’ve been there, too. No judgment on my part.

If you're like Calvin, you don't need to know these 5 reasons your New Year's resolutions don't work.
And then, of course, there’s Calvin.

In fact, as it’s been repeated several times, one 2014 study found that while 45% of all Americans make New Year’s resolutions, only 8% of those resolutions get successfully carried out.

I’ve seen the same statistic represented through other studies, with minor variations. Some say 50% make resolutions; some say 10% of them are successful. But you get the gist of it.

The good news is that those resolutions fail for the same reasons that any other unsuccessful goal fails. I’ve found the 5 reasons your New Year’s resolutions don’t work, and I’ll walk you through them, here:

1. It’s not specific enough

How many times have you heard someone say that they wanna “live healthier” or “lose some weight” — or even said it yourself? Well excuse me, but what the tits does that even mean anyway?

Yes, I know what weight loss literally means. But try fasting or dehydrating yourself for a day and measure your weight before and after (actually, maybe don’t). Boom: You’ve lost some weight; goal accomplished.

No. Exactly WHAT concrete actions are you going to take WHEN in order to lose WHAT amount of excess body fat (not muscle!) by WHICH date? Oh yeah, about that…

2. It doesn’t have a clear deadline

But it’s a New Year’s resolution so I’ll have it done sometime this year LOL!

Right. And if we’re at Jan. 1st, this might mean later today. Or, it might mean in just short of 52 weeks. Please tell me you see the difference, because I’m not elaborating on this one.

3. You’re over-burdening yourself

If you set yourself a big New Year’s resolution, like running a marathon, without properly thinking it through, right there’s your problem. Huge goals necessarily require huge amounts of action.

And let’s face it, most of us only have so much spare time in the course of a day after work, shopping, domestic chores, and perhaps dealing with our progeny.

You earned it!
“Yeah, deal with THIS, old man!”

But anybody could find 5 or 10 minutes in a day. That is, if it’s important enough. Which brings me to…

4. It’s not really important to you

This one, I think, is hugely overlooked. See, whatever we do, harmful or beneficial, we do it because there are certain benefits to it.

For example, think of this Classic New Year’s resolution: Quitting smoking. Every single human being knows about the serious harms and risks of smoking. Yet, there are certain benefits to it.

The ritual. The perceived coolness. Certain possibilities of making social connections. The personal sanctuary of a smoking break. The immense instant gratification of a nicotine rush.

Whatever we want, we better make damn sure the benefits of getting it by far outweigh those of not getting it. And this has a lot to do with changing our mental game around it.

5. You have no accountability

Now, this one’s a bit tricky. See, in general, a certain amount of accountability is motivating for by far most of us. But it only takes so much accountability before it starts to feel like unwanted, outside pressure. Which is when our motivation reaches its breaking point.

For some, declaring their resolutions to their friends, families, colleagues etc. might help instil a sense of motivational accountability.

Others (like me) prefer the less-talking-more-action approach. — And then, of course, hold themselves accountable to the relevant people, like their coach, mentor, personal trainer, mastermind group… Whoever.

Find out what works for you.

Those are the 5 reasons your New Year’s resolutions don’t work. Now it’s up to you to make sure they do.

I recommend the following approach:

Don’t make New Year’s resolutions. Set goals that are realistic, important, specific and time-bound, and keep taking consistent action on them.

Happy New Year.

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The benefits of having a bucket list

Benefits of having a bucket listNot being a native English-speaker, I don’t always know every English expression out there. So it was only last year that I came upon the term ‘bucket list’. But what are the benefits of having a bucket list?

For those of you who don’t know either (here’s to hoping I’m not the only one!), the ‘bucket’ in ‘bucket list’ refers to the expression ‘kicking the bucket’.

Y’know… Croaking it. Pushing up the daisies. Buy the farm. Bite the dust.


In other words, your bucket list is the list of things you wanna do before you kick that proverbial bucket.

… And what does this have to do with confidence? As always, thanks for asking.

As long as I’ve studied confidence, success, and self-development, I’ve seen a strong correlation between one’s amount of confidence, and the way one sets goals for oneself.

Indeed, show me someone who have no goals at all, and I’ll show you someone who’s treating themselves way less confidently than what’s good for them. Well, either that or they’ve somehow reached Nirvana.

These guys have absolutely nothing to do with the benefits of having a bucket list.
No, the other one.

Of course, just because you have a bucket list it doesn’t mean you’re treating its items like goals, per se. Indeed, you could’ve just written it down once upon a lazy afternoon only to let life get in the way and forget all about it.

But if you’ve never determined anything you definitely wanna do before you die, then what might be the chances of you pursuing it??

That’s right. So there’s one of the benefits of having a bucket list, right there.

And here’s another thing:

The more specific your bucket list, the more chance of you actually pursuing its items rather than just letting it slide.

Ever heard about the concept of setting SMART goals? The idea is that whenever you decide upon doing something, you’ll increase the likelihood of it happening manifold by making sure it’s Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, and Time-bound.

For example, if someone’s goal is to ‘lose some weight’, it’s neither.

But if someone wants to lose 10 pounds of body fat in 6 months by abstaining from processed and sugary foods; eating vegetables and lean meat every day, and doing at least 30 minutes of cardio Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays…

Yeah, that’s pretty SMART.

No, you can't have candy if you wanna lose weight.
These all count as vegetables, right?

I try to live by the concept of SMART goals.

So, one of the benefits of having a bucket list is that you set yourself up for actually accomplishing what you want in life. And this says a lot about one’s confidence.

But it definitely goes the other way, too. The more you accomplish of what you want in life, the bigger your confidence will necessarily grow.


If you haven’t got a bucket list, make one right now.
It doesn’t have to be meticulously detailed. Just take 1/2 hour to jot down 10-20 things you wanna do in your life, big or small.
If it helps, try to look at your life in different areas. E.g., what do I want when it comes to career, living, travel, sports, health, relationships, family, creativity…? Etc..

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Raise your awareness, raise your confidence

If you raise your awareness in the critical areas of your life, you clear the path for growth and confidence.In the world of self-development you often hear people like Tony Robbins and Bob Proctor advising you to how to raise your awareness, and talking about how to do it. But why are we so seemingly obsessed with raising our respective awarenesses?

There’s a quote by C.G. Jung that says, “Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.” And I think this holds the key to understanding the purpose.

See, a lot of people — far too many if you ask me — get stuck in life because they tend to focus on the uncontrollable negative circumstances that happened “to” them, rather than becoming aware of what they can do themselves to change those circumstances.

And by the way, I put the word “to” in quotation marks because uncontrollable things don’t happen “to” us. Because there’s nothing inherently personal about accidents and tragedies. Shit happens. It’s simply that kind of planet. If we wanna move on, we just have to deal with it.

And if you’ve decided that you wanna deal with those circumstances instead of letting them get to you, this is where you gotta make the unconscious conscious. This is where you gotta raise your awareness.

If your dream is to make it as a singer, but you sing outta key, you gotta be aware of the pitch of your voice. Unless you wanna end up the next Florence Foster Jenkins — at best.

If you’re unaware of what technical qualifications it takes to get your specific dream job, you’d have to be extremely lucky to somehow acquire those skills AND nail the job interview.

And if you don’t raise your awareness around how you affect other people, chances are you’re not gonna make very many friends.

If you want friends, you better raise your awareness about how you affect other people.
Apart, maybe, from imaginary ones.

I could keep making examples, but you get the point.

If you don’t raise your awareness in those key areas, you’ll get more and more frustrated about stuff happening “to” you, eventually ending up like one of those “excuse-makers”.

You know, the people who will spend more energy letting you know about why they allegedly “can’t” do Y. — Instead of figuring out, for example, how to approach Y by doing X or Z instead.

The sad reality is, though, that if your barrier isn’t within your frame of consciousness you literally can’t overcome said barrier. If you’re not aware of something you’ll be lucky to change it by a fluke, if at all.

If I asked you to give me a quick recap of Ulysses, you’d pretty much need to have actually read Ulysses at some point. Or at least somehow gotten a recap yourself.

And if I asked you to name me the one biggest reason why you’re not working on your dream right now, you’d have to at least give it some thought before answering. You’d have to consult your personal experience to gather mental data.

In other words, you’d have to raise your awareness around it.

Okay, but how does confidence follow from heightened awareness?

Well, I’m not saying that confidence will necessarily follow as a natural consequence thereof. Certain sensitive people might become self-aware about certain unfortunate personal traits and then initially feel embarrassed about them.

When you raise your awareness, you might discover something embarrassing. Don't be discouraged!

But the more you’re aware of yourself, the more you have the potential to make lasting change. And you can’t grow into the person who’ll live your dreams if you don’t become aware of what’s holding you back.

And furthermore, higher awareness isn’t necessarily a means to an end; it’s an end in itself.

Like knowledge. Like experience. Hell, like laughter.

So by all means, raise your awareness in those critical areas of your life where you need to change. And, indeed, become aware of where you need to change.

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2017 Black Friday Deal

Stay confident while I'm away...

Everybody seems to be doing a Black Friday offer these days. So, being a confidence coach, I’ve decided to do a 2017 Black Friday deal for those who are anxious about public speaking.

With that, I hereby offer 20 absolutely FREE


In this powerful session, you’ll get

– Written, concrete goals for the exact kind of public speaker you want to be
– A new awareness of what’s eating at your confidence when speaking in front of crowds (it might surprise you!)
– New energy and motivation to turn your public speaking into success upon succes
– A “next step” action plan for becoming a confident public speaker once and for all

You’ll leave the session refreshed, renewed, and ready to take on those audiences.

Now, these sessions are usually $39. But this being Black Friday weekend, I’m handpicking 20 people* who either write me at my private FB page, at my company FB page, by Messenger, or at, and giving them away for free.

PLEASE NOTE: Since this is a Black Friday offer, submissions will not be accepted until Black Friday, specifically at 12:00 A.M. CET, running through Sunday at 8:00 P.M. CET.

Not before that; not after that.

Want in on this totally sweet 2017 Black Friday Deal?

Then make a note to yourself to check in with me by mail or at my FB on Black Friday 12:00 A.M. CET and let me know!

To your confidence,

— Andy

* NOTE: This offer does not apply to anyone who I am currently working with.

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On the danger of chronological thinking

Chronological thinking is a double-edged sword.In my article “On the Danger of Procrastination“, I argue that one of the problems with procrastination is the human chronological thinking. I wanna elaborate on this here, as I think it’s a pretty rich topic that could easily stand on its own. And most of all, it concerns pretty much all of us.

We can’t just ignore our chronological thinking. And much less so in a technologically advanced society based on continuous work in exchange for money.

No matter how detached from materialism and everyday life you claim to be, money is a vital resource for all of us. And since so many people still choose to work for $15-$20 per spent hour monday through friday, we effectively put ourselves in a position where we force ourselves to think ahead. — For the sake of our safety, and, ultimately, perhaps even our very survival.

How many times have you sat at work or in class — maybe even at home — and found yourself looking at the time over and over?

Yeah, I know. You wanted so bad to not be in the here and now that you kinda waited for something else to happen rather than concern yourself with what’s right ahead of you.

Can you guess if that’s a good approach to live by?

Now, don’t get me wrong. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with planning ahead. In fact, my impression is that way too few people set adequately specific plans for themselves.

The problem is, people seem to invest way too many resources in regretting the past or concerning themselves with the future, rather than accepting the fact that there’s no changing either the past OR the future.

Sure, we can use chronological thinking to learn from our mistakes and plan ahead. But all we can really, actively affect is the here and now. Because the past won’t ever come back, and the future won’t ever come. There’s only always this moment, right here and now.

As you ponder this strange, yet somehow obvious fact, I wanna talk a little about animals

See, on a completely immediate level, we can learn a lot from animals.

Because animals don’t bother themselves with the fact that there’s gonna be a “next year”, or even “tomorrow”. They plan nothing. Because they can’t, and they’d have no need for it even if they could. All there is to animals is right here and now.

… And if you need an example, just look at pretty much any dog being taken for a walk. They’re completely absorbed in the moment; researching their surroundings; not rarely displaying an immediate joy that is nothing short of touching. They’re mindful.

Chronological thinking doesn't concern dogs. We can learn from them that way.

What would it take for you to feel just as great whenever you’re going for a walk?

Perhaps not surprisingly, there’s a strong association between living confidently, and living in the here and now. And, on the flip side, non-fident people often concern themselves with the things they can’t change (i.e. the past and future) rather than what they CAN change (the here and now).

Which will it be for you?


1. For just five minutes today, sit down with no distractions whatsoever. No phone, no laptop, no music, no social media. Just you, and whatever device you can measure five minutes on and still block any incoming messages.
2. Focus on your breathing. Feel the sensation of your breath as it continually enters through your nose, fills your lungs all the way down into your stomach, and goes back out.
3. Just be with the sensation of breathing without trying to analyze, change anything or make any judgments or assessments.
4. Whenever you become distracted by any thought, feeling, or sensation (and you will), gently and slowly bring your attention back to your breath.
5. If you think this is stupid and an unnecessary waste of time, do it for at least twice as long.

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