Wait for it… — On the virtue of patience

How do you expect to succeed at anything if you haven't got the patience?Building confidence takes patience. — In that it takes years.

Some people attract confidence naturally. But, unfairly as the world works, not everyone does.

If life’s truly got you down, turning it around is one of the bigger projects you’ll ever undergo. And even with a fairly normal life, rising above the average and becoming extraordinarily successful will also take years.

Trust me.

This is one of the major reasons that people get stuck in unsatisfying lives: We often end up settling for certain conditions because we think they’re inevitable. This can be because we’ve endured them for a certain period, and/or because we find ourselves coming back to them.

It’s all due to a lack of one little term, which means a world of difference between those who succeed and those who don’t…:

PATIENCE.

When someone settles for less, there’s necessarily a bi-sensation of giving up. And even though this might feel nice, it only does so because it’s comfortable. And, more often than not, comfort is what keeps us from getting where we want to be.

How many times have you planned to get up early only to snooze within the first millisecond of the alarm clock?

How many times have you wanted to lose weight only to keep gorging on junk food several times a week?

I could go on, but you get the point.

We settle for things by allowing them to happen. And by not being sufficiently patient we give way for allowing something to happen which we might end up settling for, even though initially we wouldn’t necessarily want to.

This is especially true for people of low confidence. When we’re not confident, we think unrealistically less of our abilities, therefore often not putting in the necessary work to succeed in whatever our pursuit, thereby getting used to failing.

And, in turn, we end up thinking of not only ourselves, but of everything we do, as a failure. — Which, in a classic example of downward spiralling, affects our patience negatively.

However, if one has enough patience to succeed, guess how that affects our confidence — and our patience? Yes, exactly.

Patience is crucial. Not only to succeed in any endeavours, but to a basic, good life. Think about it: If you want to achieve ANYHING worthwhile, how are you gonna do it if you deem failure in the midst of the process only because you get impatient??

I don’t want this for you. I don’t want any of you to settle for less than you truly want. Allow yourself to slowly build the patience of a saint, and you will be able to reap whatever tremendous benefits you want.

ACTION ITEM:

For 24 hours, turn off your phone, don’t go online, and don’t watch any TV or listen to any radio.

Why? Because we’ve gotten so used to these everyday distractions that our attention span, and, hence, our patience, suffers drastically. The longer you’re able to abstain from these kinds of instant gratification-kinda stimuli, the better your patience will be.

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Three magic words for depression and tough times

No matter how deep your depression, there's always a light at the end of the dark. Whether we see it or not. If you’ve never experienced depression, consider yourself lucky. But show me one human being who does not profess to at least having been upon hard times, and I’ll show you a liar.

(Well, either that or one lucky bastard.)

Even the bigshots, the Sylvester Stallones and Tony Robbinses of this world, will tell you that they did most certainly not get where they are today without having to endure goodies like stress, depression, financial rock-bottom, and seemingly insurmountable obstacles galore up front.

So, then, what’s their secret?

While there certainly isn’t one single answer to that one, I believe there’s somewhat of a common denominator.

When normal people face hard challenges, they usually give in, give up, adapt to their new circumstances, and/or simply let things run their course.

Look at the number of people with depression in the US. It’s alarming, and it goes to show that not many people actively do something to change their current circumstances rather than let their current circumstances have their way with them.

Of course, as in the case of depression, this can be totally understandable. Sometimes we simply can’t. Sometimes things need to run their course. And sometimes, like with most depressions, it really DOES get better.

Of course, we should always try to take action whenever possible. Even though things seem futile and hopeless, there’s often something we can do to improve our situation. But however things are, we could always use some encouragement.

For those darkest of days, I’ve found this quaint little reminder. I used it a fortnight ago when I was seriously ill. Usually, I have a kickass immune system, but I felt like I literally might need extensive medical treatment, and that I was in grave danger. I mean, it was messed up.

And so, while impotently slumping on the couch like a sack of rotten apples, trembling with cold and quietly mewling from aching joints and muscles, I continually forced this one mantra through my near-feverishly-delirious mind:

THIS
WILL
PASS!

Remember those three words. Because it’s these words – or any equivalent thereof – which goes through the minds of great people who endure and overcome stuff more wicked than you and I can imagine.

I’ve used this mantra before, but never so intensely as the other week. And while it doesn’t do anything to better one’s current predicament, it really does help on one’s awareness and outlook.

Because…: EVERYTHING PASSES.

Neither summers nor winters last. The inevitable march of time does not give two shits about you, me, or anyone else. (And we all end up dying, and there’s no Santa Claus.)

But getting stuck in a negative focus is all too easy, and we probably all know this all too well. And so, oftentimes, we could use an anchor connecting us to the positive side of things.

“But what about people who have terminal cancer, or AIDS, or [insert deadly illness of your choosing]?”

Well, there’s not one saying that applies to every imaginable situation. What I’m saying is that whenever one comes upon harsh circumstances, chances are that things WILL get better.

And no matter how bleak things appear, we need to know it, and to act like it. Because that way, we set ourselves up to win. And otherwise, we set ourselves up to lose.

So the next time you fall upon a seemingly dark period, remember those three words:

This will pass“.

Let them be your light in the dark. Because, whether you can see it or not, the light really is there.

We just gotta know it, remember it, and live by it. Only then can we move with safety and confidence.

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